Awesome People Has Awesome Regrets

Dear adziz, 6 more days till you’re gone. god knows when you’ll come back. i know people look down on you just because of your tattoos and such but truthfull, you are well respected by me. you thought me a lot of stuff. you thought me to have a place for myself, to study, to lead another person who needs help. you’ve done so much for me. from all the fights i was into, from all the problems you helped me solved and yet you never asked anything in return. i’ve been gone for 2 years. away from you. to be with a girl and thank god i found her. i never regret anything. now im trying to bond more with you. like those old times but without those drunk nights and all. just proper laughs and carefree thoughts. honestly, after what happened. after i know you’re gone, im scared about losing someone. losing someone special. people i care. people i want to stand by me. im trying to make life meaningful for you and the guys. i hope you understand how much efforts im making to repay you. for everything you do. for anything you have. im always behind your back. no matter what.

I’m really tired of this shit. seriously i think i’m just a “bahan” to you. i do shit that god knows how hard it took. and all you could say is thanks, thank you. and you go around with your friends and shit and totally forget about me. oh a friend got hurt by fucking door knob and you say shit like i love you, come give me a hug and shit and you’d fucking kill the door knob but me you’d fuck care. fuck care if i got hurt. fuck care if i’m sick. fuck care about what life throws at me. seriously, when you’re sick i offer to help. when you’re hurt, i’d care. when you got broken up, i was there, every time but you don’t see the littlest things i do. even the biggest things i do. you don’t seem to appreciate about the things i’ve done and all is not enough. you know i fucking love you so and you treat me like i’m just some kind of friend. yeah friendzoned. i’m tired of making efforts for you, i’m tired of making initiative for you. for once please realize that i won’t be sticking for so long since you won’t realize. Don’t say that you miss me because if you do, you’d make effort, not by saying things that until an imaginary genie comes and grants all your wishes because that shit is never going to happen. i’ve been doing things for far too long. i admit i love you, i admit that i miss you but i’m tired of the same shit keeps on going on repeat.